The Analytics of Joe Calderone

When I’m speaking with small businesses about marketing and advertising online, there’s one thing I focus all of my attention on: results. This doesn’t mean every advertising campaign is successful or that every client of mine has seen their Facebook engagement skyrocket overnight; it means that for every dollar we spend or minute of time we expend, I can track the outcome of our efforts. Google has analytics, Facebook has insights, and every other major advertising or marketing platform should provide statistics and analytics. If not, the service is not worth your time.

I pride myself in results based marketing. If there’s something I recommend to a client and we’re not seeing results that reinforce our strategy, I don’t continue the program. My pride takes a backseat to your results and I have no shame in admitting that.

That being said, I find myself pouring over numbers to find out exactly what’s working or how to optimize a campaign to achieve results. This morning my head started to spin after staring at spreadsheets, so instead I took a break and compiled a list of statistics and info I wish were true in my life:

• The average slice of pepperoni pizza has 173 pepperonis on top.

• The median pay for an Assistant Account Executive in Chicago is $1.73 million dollars.

• On a regular Friday night, bars in Chicago have a 5/1 girl to guy ratio.

• The average click-thru-rate of Facebook advertising is 15%.

• The Chicago Cubs have the most statistically sound chance of winning the 2012 World Series.

• Women are most attracted to a man when he is dancing off-beat to a funky techno song.